Welcome to the ultimate collection of parliamentary humor! If you’re looking to add some wit to your day, you’ve come to the right place.
Whether you’re a political enthusiast or just in need of a good laugh, these jokes are sure to tickle your funny bone. From clever puns to witty one-liners, we’ve got it all. So, sit back, relax, and enjoy the lighter side of politics!
🏛️ Classic Parliament One-Liners
- Why did the MP bring a ladder to work? To reach new heights in politics!
- What’s a politician’s favorite type of music? Poll-ka!
- Why are political meetings so long? Because MPs love to filibust a move!
- How do you wake up a sleepy MP? Just raise a point of order!
- Why do MPs always carry a pen? To draw their own conclusions!
- What do you call a politician who can’t tell a joke? Elected!
- Why did the MP go to school? To learn how to pass the bill!
- Why don’t politicians play hide-and-seek? Because good luck finding one who’s honest!
- What’s an MP’s favorite lunch? Pork pies… just like their promises!
- How did the MP win at poker? They bluffed their way to the top!
- Why do politicians love elevators? They’re always talking about rising to power!
- What’s an MP’s favorite exercise? Jumping to conclusions.
- Why was the MP seen outside during a storm? They were trying to collect votes!
- What’s the difference between an MP and a magician? A magician actually uses real tricks!
- Why do MPs love smartphones? Because they can spin everything!
🎭 Witty Political Puns
- I have a law joke but it’s still pending in the parliament.
- I have a math joke. I left it as an exercise to the reader.
- I have an unemployment joke, but it doesn’t work.
- I have an insurance joke, but it keeps getting rejected.
- I have an appraisal joke, but I don’t know if it’s worth it.
- I have a roofing joke, but it’s over your head.
- I have a time travel joke. You didn’t get it.
- I had an Internet joke, but it’s still loading.
- I have a pharmacy joke, but I have to double-check it.
- I have a biology joke, but it’s not in my nature.
- I tried to make a music-related joke, but it fell flat.
- I have a truly marvelous mathematics joke, but there is not enough space to write it out, so I’ll just leave it as an exercise to the reader.
- I have an equine joke, but it’s a little racey.
- I have a cartography joke, but it is too far out there.
- I have a physics joke, but I cannot observe it directly.
😄 Silly Parliament Sayings
- Why did the parliament member bring a ladder? To reach new heights in their career!
- What’s a parliamentarian’s favorite game? House of Cards!
- Why did the politician carry a pencil? To draw up support!
- What’s a politician’s favorite kind of tea? Honest-tea (though hard to find)!
- Why did the MP go to school? To improve their public speaking skills!
- What happens when parliament debates get too long? Everyone loses their vote of confidence!
- Why did the speaker bring a stopwatch? To keep things running on time!
- What’s a politician’s favorite dance move? The vote shuffle!
- Why are debates like sandwiches? They’re full of layers and sometimes hard to digest!
- What do you call a very funny parliamentary session? A laughing majority!
- Why was the bill so nervous? It didn’t know if it would pass!
- What’s a parliament’s favorite festival? Election Day—it’s a real party!
- How do politicians keep cool? They draft more bills!
- What’s a parliamentarian’s favorite music? Anything they can lobby-dob to!
- Why did the prime minister love gardening? They wanted to plant ideas!
😈 Naughty Parliament Jokes
- Why did the MP always miss votes? They were “abstain-ing” too hard!
- What’s a politician’s idea of a romantic evening? A scandal under the table!
- Why do parliament members always carry mints? To cover up their “aff-lairs”!
- What’s a politician’s favorite kind of party? A private one, after dark!
- Why do MPs love double beds? More space for “negotiations”!
- Why was the bill blushing? It got tied up in red tape!
- How do politicians flirt? By passing notes in secret sessions!
- What do corrupt MPs and cheap wine have in common? Both leave a bad aftertaste!
- Why don’t MPs need dating apps? Scandals keep them popular!
- How does a politician sweet-talk their spouse? With promises they’ll definitely break!
- Why was the committee meeting canceled? Everyone was “tied up” in other affairs!
- What’s a backbencher’s favorite position? Anywhere they can stay under the radar!
- Why do MPs skip speeches? They’re too busy with “oral questions”!
- What’s the dirtiest game in parliament? Hide and seek with expense reports!
- Why don’t MPs play poker? They’ve already mastered bluffing!
😂 Short & Sweet Parliament Jokes
- Why did the parliament member bring a ladder? To reach new heights in their career!
- What’s a parliamentarian’s favorite game? House of Cards!
- Why did the politician carry a pencil? To draw up support!
- What’s a politician’s favorite kind of tea? Honest-tea (though hard to find)!
- Why did the MP go to school? To improve their public speaking skills!
- What happens when parliament debates get too long? Everyone loses their vote of confidence!
- Why did the speaker bring a stopwatch? To keep things running on time!
- What’s a politician’s favorite dance move? The vote shuffle!
- Why are debates like sandwiches? They’re full of layers and sometimes hard to digest!
- What do you call a very funny parliamentary session? A laughing majority!
- Why was the bill so nervous? It didn’t know if it would pass!
- What’s a parliament’s favorite festival? Election Day—it’s a real party!
- How do politicians keep cool? They draft more bills!
- What’s a parliamentarian’s favorite music? Anything they can lobby-dob to!
- Why did the prime minister love gardening? They wanted to plant ideas!
🗳️ Parliament Debate Funnies
- Why did the MP bring a pillow? For a soft landing during debates.
- How do MPs stay awake? Filibuster coffee!
- What’s a debate’s favorite sport? Tug of words.
- Why was the speaker frowning? Too many points of order!
- How do MPs count votes? One joke at a time.
- Why are debates like marathons? Both require stamina.
- How does an MP apologize? With a “motion” of the hand.
- Why did the debate get messy? Too many cross words.
- What’s an MP’s favorite punctuation? The semicolon—it pauses just long enough.
- Why do MPs love mic checks? Echoes make them feel heard.
- How do politicians argue on Zoom? With extra filters.
- Why do MPs avoid debates on Fridays? It’s past their pun-ch line.
- How do MPs win arguments? They “bill” it cleverly.
- What’s a backbencher’s strategy? Laugh quietly, vote later.
- Why did the MP carry duct tape? To hold arguments together.
💼 Political Office Humor
- Why did the MP bring a suitcase? Packed full of promises.
- How do politicians organize files? By “spin.”
- Why did the clerk blush? Someone leaked a paper!
- What’s a politician’s favorite stationery? Sticky notes—they stick to promises.
- Why are parliamentary offices so cold? Full of draft bills!
- How do MPs keep secrets? They file under “confidential.”
- Why did the MP take a nap at work? To rest their case.
- What’s the favorite desk item? The gavel—hits just right.
- Why did the MP buy a new chair? For a seat of power.
- How do MPs decorate offices? With “policy plants.”
- Why did the printer go on strike? Tired of endless resolutions.
- What’s an MP’s favorite window? One that opens easily to compromise.
- How do MPs avoid emails? By drafting more bills.
- Why did the office clock break? Couldn’t handle overtime.
- What’s an MP’s favorite desk game? Pass the motion.
🤹 Funny Committee Jokes
- Why was the committee late? Too many cooks in the kitchen.
- What do committees drink? Motion smoothies.
- Why did the committee chair wear sunglasses? Too much transparency!
- How do committees celebrate? With “motion cakes.”
- What’s a committee’s favorite music? Roll call rock.
- Why do committees always meet in circles? To avoid corners.
- How do committees solve disputes? With paper scissors rock.
- What do committees fear most? Hanging amendments.
- Why did the committee take a field trip? To inspect jokes in action.
- How do committees stay focused? Gavel meditation.
- Why did the committee start a band? To pass the rhythm bill.
- What’s a backbench committee member’s role? Snack provider.
- How does a committee apologize? By retracting their motion.
- Why do committees love coffee? For grounds of discussion.
- What’s a committee’s motto? “Consensus or chaos.”
📜 Lawmaking Laughs
- Why did the bill blush? It got passed around.
- How do MPs write laws? With a pun-ch line.
- Why are laws like sandwiches? Layered and sometimes hard to digest.
- What’s a lawmaker’s favorite snack? Filibuster fries.
- How do MPs revise bills? With red ink humor.
- Why did the law cross the road? To get ratified.
- What’s the most musical law? The amendment note.
- Why did the bill become famous? Starred in Parliament TV.
- How do MPs pass a tough law? With humor as glue.
- Why are some bills shy? Too many objections.
- How do MPs celebrate passed laws? Champagne motions.
- What’s a lawmaker’s favorite tool? The drafting pen.
- Why do MPs love lawbooks? They make “binding” promises.
- How do MPs handle pressure? By passing it on.
- What’s a law’s favorite dance? The policy shuffle.
🎤 Prime Minister Laughs
- Why did the PM carry a notebook? To jot down every pun.
- What’s a PM’s favorite exercise? Running the country.
- How do PMs relax? Cabinet naps.
- Why did the PM bring snacks to meetings? For quick “minister” breaks.
- What’s the PM’s favorite game? Monopoly—political edition.
- Why did the PM visit a bakery? To check the rising dough.
- How do PMs stay fashionable? Tailor-made suits for every debate.
- What’s the PM’s favorite tea? Earl Grey areas.
- Why did the PM bring sunglasses? To handle the spotlight.
- How does the PM read reports? With a pun-dulum.
- Why are PM speeches like fireworks? Loud, colorful, and explosive.
- How do PMs answer tough questions? With a smile and a spin.
- What’s the PM’s favorite chair? The top seat, obviously.
- Why did the PM take a vacation? To recharge the polls.
- How does the PM write emails? With witty signatures.
🏛️ Backbencher Banter
- Why do backbenchers love snacks? Always need something to chew on.
- How do they vote? Silently, but dramatically.
- Why are backbenchers excellent dancers? Mastered the shuffle!
- How do backbenchers avoid work? Hide behind motions.
- What’s a backbencher’s motto? “Better unseen than overdone.”
- Why did the backbencher smile? Saw the debate get messy.
- How do they celebrate? Quietly, with tea.
- Why are backbenchers so mysterious? Because no one checks!
- What do backbenchers dream of? More days without speeches.
- Why did the backbencher bring a book? To read during boring sessions.
- How do backbenchers communicate? Eye signals only.
- What’s their favorite sound? Whispering amendments.
- How do backbenchers exercise? Stretch during long debates.
- Why did they join committees? For a seat closer to snacks.
- How do backbenchers win applause? By sitting still!
🏛️ Speaker Humor
- Why did the Speaker carry a gavel? To hammer the point home.
- How does the Speaker stay calm? Deep breaths between points.
- Why was the Speaker’s chair squeaky? Too many motions!
- What’s the Speaker’s favorite game? Musical gavels.
- How do Speakers handle interruptions? With a smile.
- Why did the Speaker drink coffee? To keep debate lively.
- How do Speakers handle chaos? With a firm bang.
- Why was the Speaker popular? Always fair and pun-derful.
- What’s the Speaker’s favorite hobby? Counting votes.
- How does the Speaker motivate MPs? With applause and humor.
- Why did the Speaker cross the floor? To reach consensus.
- What’s a Speaker’s favorite season? Filibuster Fall.
- How do Speakers manage long sessions? Coffee and jokes.
- Why do MPs love the Speaker? Brings order and laughter.
- How does the Speaker handle scandals? With witty interventions.
🏛️ International Parliamentary Jokes
- Why did the MP visit another country? To borrow policies.
- How do parliaments greet each other? With handshakes and amendments.
- What’s the international MP’s favorite language? Lobby-ese.
- Why do MPs love foreign tours? Free souvenirs!
- How do MPs solve disputes abroad? Motion diplomacy.
- What’s a parliamentarian’s travel tip? Pack bills lightly.
- How do MPs exchange ideas? By passing notes.
- Why did the MP bring snacks overseas? Always need backup votes.
- How do MPs learn foreign policy? Trial and error.
- Why are international debates spicy? Lost in translation!
- What’s a parliamentarian’s souvenir? A signed bill!
- Why do MPs enjoy debates abroad? They get applause from strangers.
- How do MPs carry documents? With global etiquette.
- Why do MPs love international meetings? Free pens!
- What’s an MP’s favorite airline? One that passes amendments on time.
🎉 Conclusion: Share the Laughter!
We hope these jokes brought a smile to your face! Politics can be serious, but it’s always good to find humor in the everyday. Share these jokes with friends, family, or colleagues to spread some laughter. Remember, a day without laughter is a day wasted. Keep the jokes coming, and don’t forget to vote for your favorite pun!
