Looking to add some humor to your day? Dive into this collection of over 199 National Guard jokes, puns, and one-liners that are sure to bring a smile to your face.
Whether you’re a Guardsman, a veteran, or just someone who appreciates a good laugh, these jokes are tailored for you!
🪖 Classic National Guard One-Liners
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a ladder to work? To reach new heights in service!
- What do you call a National Guard unit that loves to sing? The “Choral Guard”!
- Why did the National Guard recruit a rooster? Because they needed a “fowl” weather expert!
- How does the National Guard stay in shape? By doing “drill” workouts!
- Why don’t National Guard soldiers ever get lost? They always follow the “guardrails”!
- What did the National Guard say to the Army? “We may be part-time, but our jokes are full-time!”
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a pencil to battle? To draw his weapon!
- What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite fruit? “Grapes of Wrath”!
- Why did the National Guard soldier sit on a cactus? He wanted to “stick” to his duties!
- How do National Guard soldiers keep their uniforms clean? With “pressing” matters!
- Why did the National Guard soldier become a comedian? He had great “timing”!
- What do you call a National Guard unit that loves to dance? The “Boogie Battalion”!
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a map to the party? To “navigate” the fun!
- What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite type of music? “March”ing band tunes!
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a flashlight to the parade? To “shine” in the spotlight!
🎖️ National Guard Humor for Veterans
- Why did the veteran join the National Guard? To “reserve” his spot in history!
- What’s a veteran’s favorite National Guard joke? “I used to be in the Guard, now I’m just on reserve!”
- Why do veterans love National Guard jokes? Because they “stand” the test of time!
- How does a veteran salute the National Guard? With a “tip of the hat”!
- Why did the veteran bring a compass to the Guard reunion? To “find” his way back to memories!
- What’s a veteran’s favorite National Guard motto? “Always Ready, Always There!”
- Why did the veteran bring a whistle to the Guard event? To “blow” off some steam!
- What’s a veteran’s favorite National Guard drill? The “memory” drill!
- Why did the veteran bring a calendar to the Guard meeting? To “schedule” some laughs!
- What’s a veteran’s favorite National Guard snack? “MRE” (Meals Ready to Eat) jokes!
- Why did the veteran bring a mirror to the Guard ceremony? To “reflect” on service!
- What’s a veteran’s favorite National Guard song? “Taps” with a twist!
- Why did the veteran bring a flag to the Guard parade? To “wave” at old friends!
- What’s a veteran’s favorite National Guard exercise? The “reunion” workout!
- Why did the veteran bring a camera to the Guard event? To “capture” the moments!
🚨 National Guard Puns That Pack a Punch
- Why did the National Guard soldier become a baker? Because he was great at “kneading” dough!
- What do you call a National Guard unit that loves to garden? The “Plant Guard”!
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a broom to the battlefield? To “sweep” the enemy away!
- What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite type of exercise? “Push-ups” and “pulling rank”!
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a guitar to training? To “strum” up some morale!
- What do you call a National Guard unit that loves to cook? The “Grill Guard”!
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a fishing rod to the mission? To “catch” some rest!
- What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite type of weather? “Clear skies” and “open fields”!
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a kite to the parade? To “soar” with pride!
- What do you call a National Guard unit that loves to read? The “Book Guard”!
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a skateboard to training? To “roll” with the punches!
- What’s a National Guard soldier’s favorite type of music? “Rock” and “roll call”!
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a camera to the mission? To “capture” the action!
- What do you call a National Guard unit that loves to dance? The “Groove Guard”!
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a telescope to the parade? To “spot” the future!
🛡️ National Guard Jokes for New Recruits
- Why did the new recruit bring a pencil to basic training? To “draw” attention!
- What’s a new recruit’s favorite National Guard joke? “I joined the Guard for the ‘drill’!”
- Why did the new recruit bring a mirror to training? To “reflect” on his decisions!
- What’s a new recruit’s favorite National Guard exercise? The “push-up” challenge!
- Why did the new recruit bring a whistle to the drill? To “blow” off some steam!
- What’s a new recruit’s favorite National Guard snack? “MRE” (Meals Ready to Eat) jokes!
- Why did the new recruit bring a calendar to training? To “schedule” some laughs!
- What’s a new recruit’s favorite National Guard song? “Taps” with a twist!
- Why did the new recruit bring a flag to the ceremony? To “wave” at old friends!
- What’s a new recruit’s favorite National Guard drill? The “memory” drill!
- Why did the new recruit bring a camera to the event? To “capture” the moments!
- What’s a new recruit’s favorite National Guard motto? “Always Ready, Always There!”
- Why did the new recruit bring a compass to training? To “find” his way!
- What’s a new recruit’s favorite National Guard snack? “MRE” jokes!
- Why did the new recruit bring a whistle to the ceremony? To “blow” off some steam!
🪖 National Guard Drill Sergeant Humor
- Why did the drill sergeant bring a megaphone to training? To “amplify” his instructions!
- What’s a drill sergeant’s favorite National Guard exercise? The “shout-out” challenge!
- Why did the drill sergeant bring a stopwatch to the drill? To “time” the recruits!
- What’s a drill sergeant’s favorite National Guard snack? “MRE” (Meals Ready to Eat) jokes!
- Why did the drill sergeant bring a whistle to training? To “blow” off some steam!
- What’s a drill sergeant’s favorite National Guard song? “Taps” with a twist!
- Why did the drill sergeant bring a flag to the ceremony? To “wave” at old friends!
- What’s a drill sergeant’s favorite National Guard motto? “Always Ready, Always There!”
- Why did the drill sergeant bring a calendar to training? To “schedule” some laughs!
- What’s a drill sergeant’s favorite National Guard drill? The “memory” drill!
- Why did the drill sergeant bring a camera to the event? To “capture” the moments!
- What’s a drill sergeant’s favorite National Guard snack? “MRE” jokes!
- Why did the drill sergeant bring a whistle to the ceremony? To “blow” off some steam!
- What’s a drill sergeant’s favorite National Guard motto? “Always Ready, Always There!”
- Why did the drill sergeant bring a compass to training? To “find” his way!
🏕️ National Guard Camping Jokes
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a tent? To “pitch” in on duty!
- What’s a Guardsman’s favorite campfire story? One with lots of “drill” twists.
- Why don’t Guardsmen get lost in the woods? They always follow the “guard rails.”
- How do National Guard soldiers roast marshmallows? With precision and “discipline.”
- Why did the tent collapse? It forgot its “chain of command.”
- What do Guardsmen call a peaceful campsite? A “secured perimeter.”
- Why did the Guard bring a flashlight? To “shine” in dark times.
- What’s a National Guard camper’s favorite game? Hide and “salute.”
- Why do Guardsmen love s’mores? They’re “mission critical.”
- How do National Guard soldiers make coffee? With “special ops” precision.
- Why did the Guardsman sit on a log? He wanted a “commanding view.”
- What’s a Guardsman’s favorite camping snack? “MRE” s’mores!
- Why did the Guardsman bring a rope? For “knot” your average duty.
- How do National Guard soldiers tell ghost stories? With a “tactical twist.”
- Why did the Guard enjoy camping? Because they love a “well-guarded” adventure.
🪖 National Guard Vehicle Jokes
- Why did the National Guard soldier bring a car? To “drive” home the point.
- What’s a Guardsman’s favorite vehicle? The “Humor-V.”
- Why did the tank join the parade? To “roll” with pride.
- How do Guardsmen park their trucks? With “strategic precision.”
- What’s a Guardsman’s favorite fuel? Laughter and diesel.
- Why did the vehicle break down? It forgot the “drill schedule.”
- How do Guardsmen tune up vehicles? With “discipline and care.”
- Why did the Guardsman bring a bicycle? For “recon on two wheels.”
- What’s a Guardsman’s favorite tire? The “punny” one.
- How does a National Guard jeep greet you? “Hooah!”
- Why do Guardsmen like off-road driving? It’s “mission fun.”
- What’s a Guardsman’s GPS called? The “laughing navigator.”
- Why did the vehicle win a medal? For “outstanding drive.”
- How do Guardsmen clean their vehicles? With “rank and file polish.”
- Why did the truck join the Guard? For some “heavy humor.”
🎯 National Guard Training Day Jokes
- Why did the Guardsman bring a target? To “hit” the punchline.
- What’s the favorite sport in training? “Drill and thrill.”
- Why do recruits love push-ups? They “lift” everyone’s spirits.
- How do Guardsmen train for jokes? Repetition, precision, and “timing.”
- Why did the Guardsman carry a stopwatch? To measure the laughs per minute.
- What’s the most dangerous drill? Laughing too hard.
- Why did the Guardsman practice marching? To “step up” the humor.
- How do Guardsmen stretch? With a “funny bone” focus.
- Why is training always fun? Because of the “pun-ctuation.”
- How do Guardsmen run drills? With a “full charge of humor.”
- Why did the instructor laugh? The recruits delivered a “tactical joke.”
- What’s a Guardsman’s favorite obstacle? The “giggle wall.”
- How do Guardsmen keep spirits high? With “morale-boosting” jokes.
- Why do Guardsmen love drills? They get to “serve up” laughter.
- What’s a recruit’s favorite exercise? “Sit-ups of silliness.”
⚔️ National Guard Combat Jokes
- Why did the Guardsman bring a sword? To “cut” the tension.
- What do Guardsmen call their jokes in battle? “Combat-ative humor.”
- Why do soldiers love puns? They’re a “tactical delight.”
- How do Guardsmen attack boredom? With “precision humor strikes.”
- What’s a Guardsman’s favorite weapon? The “laugh grenade.”
- Why did the Guardsman bring a shield? To “deflect bad vibes.”
- How do Guardsmen win a fight? With “wit and grit.”
- What’s a Guardsman’s battle plan? One-liners first.
- Why did the enemy retreat? They couldn’t handle the puns.
- How do Guardsmen keep morale high? With “pun cover fire.”
- What’s the best combat drill? “Laugh and maneuver.”
- Why did the Guardsman bring a joke book? It’s “essential armor.”
- How do Guardsmen measure success? By smiles per squad.
- What’s a Guardsman’s battle cry? “Hooah and haha!”
- Why is humor critical in combat? It’s “mission essential.”
🏅 National Guard Award Ceremony Jokes
- Why did the Guardsman bring a trophy? To “medal” in laughs.
- What’s the favorite ceremony joke? “I got promoted in humor.”
- Why did the medal shine? From “laugh polish.”
- How do Guardsmen clap? With “salute and chuckle.”
- Why did the commander laugh? A Guardsman “presented the pun.”
- What’s the award for best joke? The “Golden Giggle.”
- How do soldiers accept awards? With a “smile and salute.”
- Why did the band play funny songs? To “march” humor along.
- What’s the Guardsman’s favorite ribbon? The “chuckle ribbon.”
- How do Guardsmen celebrate? With “tactical high-fives.”
- Why did the Guard bring confetti? To “sprinkle” fun.
- What’s the award ceremony snack? “MRE cake!”
- Why did the audience laugh? The speaker “deployed puns.”
- How do Guardsmen pose for photos? With “medals and smiles.”
- Why is laughter an honor? It “serves the spirit.”
🛡️ National Guard Weekend Fun Jokes
- Why did the Guardsman play video games? To “practice strategic fun.”
- What’s a Guardsman’s favorite hobby? “Pun collecting.”
- Why do Guardsmen enjoy picnics? They love “well-guarded sandwiches.”
- How do Guardsmen spend free time? “Marching into fun.”
- Why did the Guardsman go fishing? To “catch laughs.”
- What’s a weekend mission? “Relax and recharge.”
- How do Guardsmen grill burgers? With “combat precision.”
- Why did the Guardsman bring a kite? To “soar with fun.”
- What’s a Guardsman’s favorite sport? “Joke tossing.”
- How do Guardsmen play cards? With “strategic puns.”
- Why do Guardsmen love movies? They “screen for laughs.”
- What’s a Guardsman’s weekend motto? “Rest, laugh, repeat.”
- How do Guardsmen handle chores? With “discipline and humor.”
- Why did the Guardsman garden? To “plant seeds of joy.”
- What’s the secret to weekend fun? A “well-timed pun.”
🎖️ National Guard Family Jokes
- Why did the Guardsman bring the family to training? For “moral support.”
- How do families salute? With “giggles and pride.”
- Why did the Guard parent make a pancake breakfast? To “flip” the day right.
- How do kids describe the Guard parent? “Fun and disciplined.”
- Why do families love Guard weekends? “Bonding missions.”
- What’s a Guard family favorite game? “Hide and salute.”
- How do spouses joke about duty? With “love and humor.”
- Why did the Guard parent tell bedtime jokes? To “deploy laughter.”
- What’s a Guardsman’s family motto? “Together, we serve fun.”
- How do siblings prank Guardsmen? With “tactical surprises.”
- Why did the family attend the parade? To “march with pride.”
- How do families celebrate promotion? With “smiles and confetti.”
- What’s the favorite family activity? “Pun-sharing missions.”
- Why did the Guardsman write a funny letter home? To “guard the humor.”
- How do families honor service? With “laughter and love.”
